This book is a must-read for any parent of a daughter. I wish I had read this 10 years ago when my daughter started her transition into adulthood. This book will help parents understand, connect and grow with their daughter and explain a lot of the confusing messages we get from our girls.
I loved the author’s metaphor for parenting a young girl. The parent is a swimming pool, the water is the world and your daughter is the swimmer. She wants to be swimming all on her own but then she gets tired and has to hold onto the side of the pool (parent). When she catches her breathe, she will push off the side of the pool (parent). Sometimes this push may be hurtful or rude but it is your daughter showing her independence again. As parents, we want to be there to support when needed and allow her to swim when ready.
As parents, I believe we all try to ‘fix’ things for our children. At this time in your daughter’s life, we need to understand the difference between when our daughter is ‘complaining’ vs ‘venting’. The book explains that complaining means ‘we want someone to fix something’. Venting means ‘I’ll feel better when someone who cares about me hears me out’. A great question to ask your daughter when she starts complaining or venting is ‘Do you want my help or do you just need to vent?’.
Some key points I loved in the book:
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